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They can be sexual with women they love, but they are predominately aroused and driven sexually by desire for sex with other men. And both wind up enjoying it! Often it's a little of both. In fact, neither extreme represents the experience of many men. Long marginalized by our straight male peers, excluded from the male fraternity, many of us gays long to get back in, and getting a straight guy to be sexual with us would be proof that we've finally been accepted. Many are body builders and muscular and enjoy the homoerotic attention of gay men and might even flirt with gay men to encourage more admiration. Sign up for our free bi-monthly newsletter updates:.

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But what these gay men don't realize is that I am not talking about men like them.

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Why Some Straight Men Are Romantically or Sexually Attracted to Other Men

During the last three decades, in reaction to prejudiced and destructive anti-gay attitudes, we've seen the pendulum swing so far in the other direction that it's now become almost a therapeutic credo, not to mention a requirement of political correctness, to assume that men who have sex with men are "in denial" and need help to recognize and accept their "true" homosexual orientation. Sexual fantasies about straight men can be displaced longings for acceptance by straight guys in general. Why did the straight guy in the video kiss the gay guy back, after all? When growing up, gay men experience rejection and alienation from straights, so it only makes sense that parts of our psyches are longing to connect with them, bond with them and ultimately, try to be one of them. Even so, we can't ignore the many gay men who admit a taste for straight guys, which makes me wonder why they prefer straight men sexually.

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Acting out early-childhood sexual abuse: Of course this is ridiculous. See straights as potential friends, not partners, and focus on the masculine traits in other gay guys. Straight men represent authority: Over the years, I've seen gay men focusing and obsessing on straight men and have discovered many reasons for this. These straight men enjoy fantasies of -- or the reality of -- their female partners having sex with other men, either in front of them, nearby or with their knowledge about when and where it occurs.

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